Have you ever caught yourself saying "I shouldn't want that"... and then just... not wanting it anymore? Like you talked yourself out of your own desire before you even let yourself feel it?

Yeah. My guest today has a lot to say about that.

Jess Wildman is a Personal Power Coach based in the UK who helps women shed the weight of societal expectations so they can live delicious lives full of pleasure and joy. Her work is rooted in a simple but radical idea: that personal power begins the moment you stop outsourcing your own desires.

And honestly... this conversation went everywhere.

We talk about shame and how it's constructed on purpose to keep women quiet. We talk about sex and why so many of us are performing instead of feeling. We talk about body image, diet culture, self-trust, and the invisible voices we've invited into our most intimate moments... our pastors, our mothers, our great-grandmothers, and yes, some rich old white man who wanted to sell us something we didn't need.

We also land on the line that stopped me cold: every should is a self-betrayal.

If you've ever said "I'm fine" when you weren't... if you've ever shrunk yourself to make someone else comfortable... if you've ever wondered whose voice is actually running the show in your head... this episode is for you.

A gentle heads up that Jess shares her personal history with disordered eating and diet culture in this episode. Please take care of yourself as you listen.

Some Key Takeaways

• The word "should" is doing a lot of damage in your life... and it's probably not even yours

• Someone decided women's bodies were a problem to be solved. They were wrong. And they were probably trying to sell you something.

• Fine is not a feeling. It's a warning sign.

• The reason you can't get out of your head during sex has nothing to do with your body

• Self-trust isn't something you find. It's something you rebuild... one decision at a time

• The standard your female friendships set? That's the bar. Full stop.

• Every should is a self-betrayal... and once you hear why, you can't unhear it