What Excites Us!

Episode 53: Ask Auntie Julia's Connection Camp

Transcript:

Ep 53 - Ask Auntie Julia's Connection Camp ===
[00:00:00] Auntie Julia: And I've had teens disclose all kinds of things to me. About who they are, about their bodies, about what they've experienced. Sometimes, I get to share those things, like, Oh my goodness, I just learned about a secret partner, let me tell my staff. Because I've had permission

[00:00:26] Gwyn: Hello and welcome to What Excites Us, the podcast that discusses sex and sexuality from a variety of perspective so that you will know you are not alone in your desires. And you can release any shame you may be carrying. My name is Gwyn Isaacs. I am a certified sex coach who has been professionally helping folks feel good about their sexuality and how to approach it with glee. Since 2017.

Okay. So this episode is a little bit different. And I won't be offended if you decide to skip it or even know for that matter. But I'm talking with Julia Sheldon who goes by Auntie Julia, or Ask Auntie Julia on all of the socials, about the healthy relating camp for teens that she is creating this summer. Now. I know we aren't exactly talking about sex or sexuality, but as you know, being able to relate well with others is what makes for healthier relationships. And many of us have teenagers. Or were teenagers. And this can be useful for the teens and us too. Julia does also work with adults, which we touch on very briefly towards the end. We talk about specifics about the camp. A bit about Julia's coaching programs and techniques.And we also discuss how to relate better with the teenagers in our lives.And how to set them up to have better relationships in their lives going forward.

Before we get started. I want to tell you that I'm going to be speaking in a free sexuality summit called unlocking intimacy. Which is coming right up, March 11 through the 21st. It's hosted by Amy Rowan, the Suburban Sexologist it's online and it's completely free. And the lineup of the speakers are fantastic. I joined so that I can see all the other people talking. My talk is about how you can use kink to help empower all the aspects in your life. Not just the bedroom. And you can sign up at thesuburbansexologist.com/Gwyn-Isaacs. And don't worry you don't need to write that down. The link will be in the show notes. As is the link for connection camp, which is connectioncamp.org. You might not even need to write that one down.

Back to this episode. Julia Sheldon is a sex and relationship educator for teens known as Ask Auntie Julia. She has been working with teens for 25 years since, before she was a teenager. With many different organizations and companies. Julia has a degree in sexuality, marriage and family studies from St. Jerome's university. And is the founder and connector. The founder and connector. She is the founder and director of connection camp

Hi Julia. Welcome to What Excites Us!

[00:03:35] Auntie Julia: Hi, thanks for having me. I'm so happy to be here.

[00:03:39] Gwyn: so I've had you on the podcast before, and it was a wonderful conversation and a horrible episode, so nobody go listen to it. We're gonna talk about some of those things again. But you have a new project that's coming up. So ask Auntie Julia, tell us about your new project.

[00:03:58] Auntie Julia: Oh, cool. So ask Auntie Julia. That's where you can find me on the socials. Um, I am launching a summer camp. I'm doing it all on my own, which is really exciting. No, not by myself. I have a team. Don't worry. It's not the Julia show. That would be, that would be bad news bears trying to do it all myself. Oh no. So, Auntie Julia is the director of a summer camp. It's one week long. It's called Connection Camp in Southwestern Ontario. Uh, you can find it at ConnectionCamp. org and also ConnectionCamp on the socials. The socials meaning TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram.

Oh, I'm so, I'm so excited about this camp. okay, let me back up. So, my work involves teenagers. Auntie Julia is really good at connecting with teenagers. So I'm a sex and relationship educator for teens. I do group programs and one on ones and I have been staffing camps and directing camps for so many years now and attending camps when I was a child. And now, after the last few years of directing a day camp, I decided, I think I want to take these things that I've been doing, and now I want it to be more about Healthy relationships. So Connection Camp is a healthy relating camp for teens. We have an amazing staff of, there are seven of us right now. I'm so excited about this team that I have there. Oh, they're amazing humans. I'm so pumped. We have five different languages, we have a whole bunch of genders, a whole bunch of sexual orientations. And we have, in the day jobs of my staff, we've got a social worker, a lawyer, a leadership consultant, a farmer, a well I'm a sex educator. Uh, we have Oh, we have someone who's running queer scouts.

These people are so cool, and I am so excited to get to hang out with them for a week, and have this awesome group of safe adults for teenagers to get to hang out with. That is really important to me, and I was really intentional about choosing the staff that I have, so that we have this amazing group of adults. The purpose of this camp is to set teenagers up to have the kinds of awesome relationships in their lives that they want to have. That means relationships of all different types, not only dating or sexy time relationships, but with their parents, with their siblings, with their caregivers, with their friends. We want them to know they're not alone, that there is something for everybody out there, and we want it to be a safe place where they can be themselves without judgment. That's really, really important to us.

And as somebody who went to a million camps when I was a kid. We're very aware of how repetitive camp can be sometimes. So we're trying to do things a little bit differently. Every afternoon, the campers get to sort of choose their own adventure. There will be three or four activities available, and campers get to pick which one they want to go to. And then we're doing a lot of team building, a lot of healthy relating sessions. And the healthy relating, to clarify, is going to be things like anatomy, and consent, and relationship types, and fighting fairly, or fighting in different ways.

Um, and emotional regulation will be involved, but I'm not going to call it that because teenagers would just be like, Ugh, cringe, gross. So I'm going to be like, you know those, those rages that overcome you? Let's figure that out. Let's figure out this jealousy that happens.

[00:08:04] Gwyn: What are the particulars, like how many kids, what kind of sleeping arrangements, like that sort of thing?

[00:08:12] Auntie Julia: So it's July 14th to 20th. It's in Brantford at Five Oaks. Um, you can find us at connectioncamp. org to register. There will be 40 kids. We are in cabins with bunk beds. There we have different, um, set up. So there could be six people in a room. There could be four people in a room. And that number will depend on the age of the kids. So it's for ages 13 to 17. So if we have 12, 13 year olds, then they get to be in the six bed rooms. Yeah, it's overnight.

Okay, let me make sure I've got all the things. So, July 14 to 20, 40Kids, you're registering at ConnectionCamp. org. The site is mostly outdoors. it's a beautiful site. There's a forest, there's a labyrinth, there are fields. It's awesome. Some of the things that campers can expect from camp, campers will be doing dishes. That is definitely going to happen. You won't have to do dishes every single time, but cabins will be responsible for doing the dishes. after every meal, so that's going to rotate when that happens.

There will be every day there will be a check in so we will have little groups in the morning where there's an adult and like four to six kids hanging out chatting about just what's going on for them. We have an awesome chef who is preparing meat and vegetarian options, and then for whatever other important restrictions come on the registration form, when you tell us your dietary restrictions, we will do our best to make sure that everything is okay.

We are going to have, um, crochet water balloon fights. I have a friend of mine making us crochet water balloons, so that's gonna happen for sure. And, there are fans in the cabins. That's very important.

And we're not leaving the site for the week. So, you arrive on Sunday, you leave on Saturday. And, I can promise that you have the option of getting 9 hours of sleep a night. So, wake up is 8. 15. Lights out, is uh, 11 and if your cabin wants to turn the lights out earlier, then that's on you. Great. Go for it. But for sure, 9 hours of sleep and there's a siesta in the middle of the day because goodness knows after lunch, we're going to need it for sure.

I think those are the specifics more thing. On the registration form, there is a question of do you want a bus to the site. So campers can arrive on their own or there is the potential to get a bus from Toronto. And, the cost of camp. It costs $1500 Canadian. We do have scholarship options and payment plan options and by payment plan. I mean, we can separate it over the course of a few months. So we're trying to make it as accessible as we can. Oh, and all of our staff are First Aid certified, so we are good to go there.

[00:11:35] Gwyn: I presume you have blocks. Tell us what your basic block, tell us your building blocks.

[00:11:41] Auntie Julia: Yeah! okay, so, we have big ones throughout the day. So, first we have our Healthy Relating session. Then we have team building. Um, then we're going to do, we're calling them right now, camp activities. We're not sure what we're going to call it. We could use some help figuring that out. Um, that's where it's a choose your own adventure. There are three or four options every day. And then after dinner, we're going to have some sort of evening fun, like name that tune with an obstacle course or capture the flag or movie night. Something like that. Yeah.

[00:12:23] Gwyn: you know, frequently when I tell people what I do for a living, they ask for a hot sex tip. So what I say, not really knowing them or any of their situations is that most sexual issues can be helped with more and better conversation, or lube or both. Now, conversation is really on you, although I can help you if you'd like me to. I do that as a coach. But when it comes to lube, there are two brands that I always reach for first. Uberlube is my go-to silicone lube. It's pure. It's not full of any unnecessary additives that make it smell, taste, or feel, unlike you me. It comes in a beautiful glass bottle that I'm happy to have on my nightstand, and it's great in most situations.

However, if you prefer a water-based lube or have some other intimate needs, I recommend Good, Clean Love. They have a variety of great products to help everything in the bedroom goes smoothly, huh. They've got some vaginal care kits, some cleaning solutions, oils and candles. It's really great. Now you can find an affiliate link for these at the podcast's website whatexcitesus.com. And to be clear, you do help me out when you buy through these links, but I specifically reached out to these companies because I truly love their products and I believe in what they're doing. So help yourself. Help me help these lovely companies and get better sex with better lube. Go visit the links for UberLube and Good, Clean Love at whatexcitesus.com. I'm so interested in the connections piece.

How are you going to be teaching these kids in a way that they don't just reject because you're coming at them by teaching them something? Right? 

[00:14:26] Auntie Julia: Good question. So, our mission is to empower teenagers by providing a safe, inclusive, and nurturing environment where they can openly discuss, learn about, and understand the dynamics of healthy relationships. So, the ways that we do that are through experiential learning. Meaning, sometimes there is a lecture style. Um, like I run an amazing consent on TV workshop. So when we're talking about consent, I'm going to be showing clips from different TV shows, and we're going to be talking about it.

We are going to be gamifying some concepts. So if we're playing a game, let's say Capture the Flag. Okay, we're going to play for our evening fun, it's going to be regular plain old capture the flag. But it could be that In one of our activities, we play a capture the flag type game and we change it up. We make it a twist. There's hidden meaning. Um, I love the surprise attack learning that happens with games.

And there is something beautiful that happens when adults show up as themselves and really Um, Embrace the awkward. Thank you to Reid About Sex for that. That is one of my favorite slogans. Um, goodness, I'm a super awkward human. And that for some reason seems to connect with teenagers. Um, teens are really good at noticing when something or someone is not genuine. And when like it's really obvious when someone is putting on a performance. Teens will call you out on that.

So, uh, in my experience with teenagers, I've been working with teens since before I was a teenager. So, 25 years now that I've been working with teens. And I think what happens, the magic that happens, I call it Auntie Julia magic. There is something so beautiful about telling teenagers, Hey. I was a teen a while ago. I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I do know what these studies show. And I do know some things that you can expect from your life.

Not to say that I know everything because I don't. You are the experts of your own life. And there are some things that seem to, when I say them, some things just different for the teenagers. Or they hit the right thing in their brain that encourages them to trust what I'm saying, and to understand that, oh, okay, this person isn't putting on a front. This person is here to connect with me. And it's really magical when teenagers are empowered to stand up for themselves and to have difficult conversations.

And something that's really cool about Connection Camp that the culture that we're building there is that the staff is going to be modeling our own relationships. So the relationships that we have amongst the staff, we're all friends. Or we're, right now, friendly. We're becoming friends. We're working together. And we are going to do our best to show our different relationships to the teenagers. So they see that we don't all respond in the same ways to situations. That if we're having a disagreement, we are going to work it out.

And, some of us who have big feelings. It's me. I have big feelings. Uh, some of us need to say, Hey, give me a minute. I'm going to go hug a tree and maybe scream and then I'll be back. We're going to model these things for the teenagers and then show them like we can have a disagreement. And still be okay. We can have big feelings and still be okay. And by be okay, I mean we can still hang out together. We can have big feelings that don't hurt other people.

In my own life, when I was a teenager, I would get very angry about things, and I would be the person where everything was fine, and then I would explode with anger, and then I was fine, and I could walk away. But that explosion would leave shrapnel in other people, and it took me until I was, like, 23 or 24 to figure out how to be angry, to get my point across, But not leave shrapnel in other people. Cause that's, that's not what I wanted. So personally, that is something that I can pass along to teenagers of my own experience.

And there are other staff members who have different experiences. Because we come from different walks of life and different cultures and different family systems and what have you. Um, and I think it's going to be really, really powerful for the teenagers to know that we are there for them. But we still are people who have our own experiences. And, you know, some of us are kind of flirty in our friendship. Some of us laugh a lot. Some of us cry together a lot. And it's all okay. It's all good.

And at this camp, it's a healthy, relating camp. We're coming up with a better slogan, teenagers, I promise. It is about making sure that people at camp feel like they can really be themselves while being respectful. And while being inclusive, while staying open, open minded or just being open to new ideas and new things. New ways of expressing themselves, maybe.

Other things that are really important to us at camp are growth. Giving a place for personal development and self discovery. A learning environment that isn't school. Being very compassionate that's important to us. Some of us, me again, have to work on self compassion, but we're working on it. And then also something that's important to us is, is is , um, encouraging campers to be accountable for their physical, emotional and mental well being while at camp.

We want them to figure out their limits, understand their limits, pay attention to their feelings and ask for help when they need it. It's really important to us, the staff to not force anybody to stay with the group to do the activity to be present because a lot of the time at school they are forced to sit in a desk and do the assignment or what have you. So we're not going to force anybody to participate. We are going to definitely encourage people to participate and we are going to give and provide different options for how that can look.

So, for example, when we are talking about getting to know yourself, maybe some people are going to sit on the floor. Maybe some people are going to be doing some yoga stretches in the corner. Maybe some people are doodling in their notebooks the whole time. It's all good. We pay attention in different ways. Some people are going to be vocally participating in everything, and that's great.

We are going to have big group sessions, we're going to break down into small groups, we are trying our best to make it not school, but full of learning opportunities. The beauty of any overnight camp is that every moment is a new experience for them. They are learning something constantly. Even if it's because we're playing games, even if it's because we're laughing a lot, even if it's because we're throwing balloons at each other, crochet balloons at each other. Um, we want them to have a lot of fun. And when something is really engaging, doesn't feel like it's being shoved down your throat.

[00:23:26] Gwyn: Yeah. So, as a mom. While I can remember my teenager hood, I very much have a mom perspective and I have a really hard time dropping back down into the just pure relating with my teenagers without stepping into mom role, because that's what I've been doing for 20 something years. So I've got a lot of practice and I have a lot less practice being a teenager since that was 30 something years ago. Um, so I'm so, grateful honored, delighted to remember to learn, more effective skills when it comes to talking to teenagers, because they are kind of like a whole nother breed of human.

[00:24:17] Auntie Julia: Right. Um, teenagers are so amazing because their brains are developed to the point where they have so many capabilities and they can understand so much and they can do so much and they still have so much more growing to do. Um, being that I'm Auntie Julia, I am not a parent, and that helps immensely. Because I don't live with teenagers, whenever I work with them, I get to experience whoever they show up as any given moment. Which I think probably if you live with them is very similar, um, you don't know who's showing up or what kind of mood they're gonna be in, and that's fair, totally fair.Being the cool aunt, well, cool in my words, um, being the aunt they can talk to about whatever's going on is very helpful to them. It's a good thing to have more adults who care about teenagers.

So for parents, There is an amazing book called The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Lamour or Damour. Um, but The Emotional Lives of Teenagers is an awesome book. She's a teen psychologist. Um, or maybe she's a psychiatrist. She's a working professional who works with teenagers all the time and works on their mental health and mental wellness. And in this book, she gives a few suggestions, which I've seen play out in my work with teenagers.

So one thing, if you are living with teenagers. You might notice that the time when they actually want to talk to you about what's going on is very likely to be when you're reading in bed, when you're getting ready for bed, when you're in your bedroom. You're doing your own thing and your teen can come into the room and decide how long the conversation is going to be, what specifically they want to talk about, and then they get to leave when they're done. And they know that you're probably not going to follow them when they leave because you're getting ready for bed.

So many of us have done this. As teenagers and teenagers are still doing it. The reason is that, well, there are a few reasons. They want to control the conversation. It's not going to be around the dinner table. Tell me about your day. How was school? It's going to be. .. Oh, my God. On the bus this person did this thing and this person responded in this way. And I didn't know what to do. So I just started filming it. Um. And they're telling you about something important that happened. They're telling you about their feelings about it. They don't necessarily want you to solve it for them. They just want you to know.

And for a lot of teenagers, the act of telling somebody about something that's happened is enough for them to move those feelings through their body. That's enough to get whatever is inside out. They just have to talk about it sometime and before bed is awesome because you're not going to have any follow up questions. In this book, she also says really specifically, for teens, mental wellness is about feeling the right things at the right time.

So it's not about never having feelings. It's not about not going on the roller coaster of feelings. It's really about figuring out teenagers are trying to figure out, okay, I have this feeling right now. Let's say, for example, something has happened with a friend and this kid's at school, they are at lunch. They, I don't know, their friend is upset with them or they've done something where they're having big feelings because of something that happened at lunch. They go to the bathroom to cry. They have to pull themselves together because they have to go write a test. So, they go write their test. They finish their test and they're still upset about the thing that happened at lunch. So, they go outside. And they run around for five minutes. Or they push their body weight into a tree really hard. The tree can take their force. A big tree, not like a little sapling that can't take it. Um, but they, they do something. Then they have to go to their next class. They're in their class and then they are still feeling this way about the thing that happened at lunch, and they get home and they have to tell dad.

That is amazing. That right there is perfect emotional regulation. They are feeling their feelings. They're pulling themselves together. They're doing what they need to be doing at the moment. They need to focus, and then they're allowing themselves. Or they're giving themselves the opportunity to feel still or feel it again and work through it. And that kid in that afternoon had three different ways of managing those feelings. That is mental wellness. That is amazing. That's what, in this book, that's what she means by the right feeling at the right time. We don't want, and we've all done this, we don't want to be exploding at somebody Because we dropped our cup of coffee. That is misplaced anger, typically.

So, every parent, I highly recommend The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. You can listen to it. It's about six hours. You can read it. It came out end of last year, like November. I want to say like it's it's a very new book. So it talks about the pandemic. It talks about all the different things that teenagers now are experiencing and the different studies that have been done recently and what this particular professional has seen in her own experience. In learning about this book, it's definitely written for parents.Now, I love reading books that are for parents because I do not come at it from a parenting lens. So it really helps me connect with parents and with teenagers in that way.

And I can see when I have kids for a week, I do something similar. Like, I won't necessarily stay up in my bed waiting for them to come talk to me, but I will throughout the day, find different times, different ways to check in on somebody with some kids we'll have a secret handshake. With some kids. I might write them notes. With some kids we're going to make up a ridiculous dance to something. I find ways to connect so they know. For example, if we have a secret handshake, oh, okay. Julia cares. Julia is paying attention to me specifically. Julia keeps showing up.

Those three things are so friggin important for teenagers. And a lot of teenagers will test, they will push back. They're going to push you to see how far they can push. They want to know where your boundaries with them are. So they will be hella sassy. They will yell in your face. They will say all kinds of hurtful things because they're trying to see where you break. They have this belief that you will break.

And for parents that the breaking point cannot come, you can get angry, you can respond, you can react, but you have to keep coming back. And I think any adult who is working with teenagers has to keep showing up. They need that. And that's how we build secure attachment. Is by continuing to show up.

And also, setting boundaries. If you're screaming in my face, I am going to take a few steps back. And I am going to probably get visibly upset. And I might yell back and be like, this is, we talked to each other, for a run. Back in ten minutes. And then we can figure it out. Um, It is an immense privilege to be a person that teenagers trust.

And also, in my own work, to be a person who parents trust. If you give me your child for a week, I know that that is such a gift that you are giving. I mean, you're letting potentially your heart leave for a week to spend time with other adults. You are waiting to see how being away for that week, like what kind of a difference makes for them. And that difference might not be immediately obvious. It might take a little while. But our goal with camp, one of our goals, is to foster friendships at camp. Provide a space to foster friendships. And that includes building strong relationships between our staff and our campers. So we want to be people, even though we don't live with them, even though we don't see them all the time, we want teenagers to know that they can still reach out to us, they still have a relationship with us, even after camp. It's not only one week. We're still there.

[00:34:46] Gwyn: Place in mind for that continuing connection. Like, are you going to have a discord group or something like that to continue? Yeah,

[00:34:54] Auntie Julia: Yeah, totally. We, for sure we have our social media and, um, the options are changing all the time for what that means. So I think. Like today, a new thing on Instagram launched where you it's, um, there's a key now on Instagram and that's like just for friends. And so on our connection camp Instagram, we will have what we share with the world. And then there will be just the campers can be in a group on our Instagram. Um, Depending on what the teenagers at camp request, we will come up with some type of group. It could be Discord, it could be WhatsApp, it could be Signal. I don't, they might have a new one, I don't know. Things are changing all the time, so who knows?

Um, but there will definitely be a way for teens to reach out and to talk to the staff for sure. We also, will be having boundaries around that. Um, we're gonna let the teenagers know how they can contact all of us. The kind of response they might be getting from us. Um, and depending on what's going on for them, we might have to share information with someone else. And we do have a duty to report as camp staff. Um, so if someone's causing harm or being harmed, we need to report. To share that information, and they always have to know that. They being the teenagers always have to know that if there is serious harm happening that that information needs to be shared.

Besides that, ideas that are percolating that might happen. We may have, a chain mail sort of set up. Um, we might have a pen pal system. We might have postcard exchange. I don't know. We might go old school and teach the children about snail mail. I'm not sure. Um, there are options, but we for sure, aside from ideally having a recurring camp with some staff members coming back every year. Hopefully all we'll see what happens. That's one way to stay in touch. But then, yes, there will be other ways for sure because we don't want to just disappear.

[00:37:19] Gwyn: So you mentioned a duty to report. Is that the Canadian way of saying a mandated reporter?

[00:37:25] Auntie Julia: We have, policies and procedures on how to handle different circumstances. Um, in regards to what might be required on our behalf to report some things we have to tell caregivers. Some things we have to tell various authorities or professions. But yeah, we have we we have a big binder.

[00:37:50] Gwyn: Yeah. Oh, I bet. So, um, leaving that disturbing reality aside, you mentioned camp year after year. Are you going to do a CIT program if there are campers who want to keep coming back themselves and start aging up? Have you thought this far in advance?

[00:38:07] Auntie Julia: That is an excellent question. Thank you for putting that in my brain. it is a possibility right now. We are developing a, I need to come up with a better name for it, the teens will help me, a teen advisory council, so we're going to have several teenagers who are helping us as we develop this, and because I don't want to, I don't want to make a camp for teens that teens are not at all interested in. Like I think it's going to be awesome. And every adult that I talk to is like, this sounds so cool, but, you know, millennials might think it's rad, but the teenagers might think it's cringe. So we gotta, we gotta ask the teens, make sure that it's, it's okay.

[00:38:59] Gwyn: I just want to highlight the fact that you used rad for the elders and cringe that you're that you're literally modeling speaking their language.

[00:39:13] Auntie Julia: Yes. Not always. Sometimes I have to be like, okay, I need a translation. Can somebody explain, what are these words you are using? What are you saying to me right now? I have to do that a lot. Um, and sometimes I just have to make sure that I heard them right. And, and then I have to be like, who came up with that? And I, I understand now. When I was a teenager, and the adults around would be like, What are you saying to me right now? And I'm like, Oh, everybody's saying this. And they're like, who is everybody? What are you talking about?

[00:39:47] Gwyn: So, this is amazing. I am so glad that you're doing this work. I am so glad that you're in this space to help kids who, I mean, adults are annoying, man. Like we are. Like, there were a couple of things that you were saying about, like, you know, we always want to try and solve the problem, like, knock it off. That's not, I mean, even between adults relating to each other, like, sometimes we just want to be heard, right? Um, and trying to control a situation, like, we're so, and parents to, teenagers are so much about wanting to control the situation. And Having a safe place for them to go with trusted adults, where they can actually do some of the work without feeling like they're doing work because will reject that. It's so valuable and I really, really hope that this goes really well for you guys. I hope you sell out instantaneously and have to do 2 weeks next year because you need 2 different groups or whatever, whatever your vision of expansion is.

[00:40:47] Auntie Julia: Yes, that is the dream.

[00:40:49] Gwyn: and I just, yeah, I'm so fully appreciative of that. I really quickly, want to touch on the fact that you do also work with millennials in a one on one sort of coaching situation. Yeah, just tell us a little bit about that and then we're going to wrap up because you're so awesome, Julia, that I want people who find you, like somebody that they could work with available to them. So tell us who you're available to besides teenagers.

[00:41:16] Auntie Julia: I'm willing to work with just about anyone, but millennials do seem to find me, which I love. I love you, millennials. I'm also a millennial, so come find me. I do one on one, and we can set it up in a couple different ways, but typically I have a few six week programs, and we We don't have to do it in six weeks, but I have six week blocks. So we've got Boundaries, Getting to Know your Body, and um, Self Care in 2024. Because it's not just, I don't know, avocado on toast and baths. it's about really caring for ourselves.

I do the six weeks because I have found that that seems to be just enough time for me to get you to do some homework to give you a bunch of resources and for you to walk away feeling like, okay, I figured something out. Also a lot of my work is client directed. So, someone will, will have a discovery call and they'll say, here's what I want to work on. Um, so in the past, I have helped someone leave their spouse. I helped someone learn to flirt after divorce. I helped someone, figure out their boundaries. They came to me and were like, I don't have any boundaries. And I thought that's definitely not true. Let's dive in. And fun fact, there are seven different kinds of boundaries. Wild. Um, and so it can be client directed or I can give you a program that I've already created for you. So reach out to me on Instagram.

Um, all my links I will give to Gwyn or you can find me askauntiejulia. com. And we can set it up and we can work one on one. I love helping people to figure out how to have the kinds of relationships that they want to be having. And I don't have all of the answers. I am also a human figuring out this weird thing called life. And also called long term relationship. Like, yo, the movies have lied to us! It's just rude. It's rude. So I work with a lot of people in the beginning of relationships, in the middle of their relationship, and at the end of their relationships. And sometimes we talk about sex, but for the most part, we're talking about how do we talk to each other, and what are these feelings, and how do I figure out how to say this thing to the person I care about in a way that gets my point across without Hurting them or hurting them as little as possible

[00:44:12] Gwyn: Brilliant.

[00:44:13] Auntie Julia: Yeah. So I do a lot of work on zoom, but I'm open to other options too.

[00:44:18] Gwyn: Awesome. I think I'm going to bring you back to talk about that. actually, let's, bring you back. Let's sort of tentatively plan for a late summer, early fall chat where we can, we can focus more on your work with elder elders with not teenagers. I'm sure you're willing to work with elders if decided, but with, with, with. With folks who are, have, uh, at least a two in front of their number of ages. and I'd love to hear how camp goes. And in the meantime, yes, please go find Ask Auntie Julia on the socials. But before we formally wrap up, of course, you know, I have to ask that one final question, which is what excites you. [00:45:09] Auntie Julia: In this exact moment. Well, I can't just say camp. Um,

[00:45:14] Gwyn: I mean, that's that's pretty clear. So what else? [00:45:19] Auntie Julia: What excites me now? In a few weeks. I get to attend a local GSA conference. So there is an organization that has a whole day for all of the gender and sexuality alliance clubs that are in the high schools all around. So like 300 teenagers from different high schools come together and I get to give my favorite workshop on that day. So I'm very, very excited.

[00:45:52] Gwyn: This is really, really great. I cannot wait to hear how camp goes. You will have to keep us all informed

[00:45:59] Auntie Julia: Oh, you know I will.

[00:46:07] Gwyn: Okay. So I'm still trying to figure out if I can get one of my teenagers up there for camp. I know they would love it. And furthermore. They could use the work that will be happening without their knowledge. How about you? Are you going to sign your kids up? It's super easy. You just go to connectioncamp.org to get started.

Let's see, what else do I need to share? Oh, That you can easily share things with me. Uh, by going to whatexcitesus.com and you just click the speak to me button. And then you can also share your favorite episodes with a friend. Which honestly, I would super appreciate if you do. I fully believe that we can all feel better about ourselves and who we are and how we love, and we can help heal the world because when we feel good, we don't want to blow other people up. So by sharing a pertinent episode with a friend or a loved one you can help take part in that process.

Of course, if you would like to help me do the work, you can join the Patreon where you contribute a small amount, or you can buy me a cup of coffee. And I have an opening or two in coaching, and I would love to talk to you about that if you're interested. WhatExcitesUs.com is the super easy way to do all of those things. And I'm going to put in one more pitch. For the conversation that I'll be having with Amy Rowan. As a part of her Unlocking Intimacy Summit. Which is going to be using kink to empower your life. And I'm putting a coaching program together around those lines too. So if you're interested, please talk to me. In the meantime.

What Excites Us. Is produced, edited and hosted by me. I'm Gwyn Isaacs. Our podcast host is Tickle.Life. All the music is used under the creative commons, attribution license. The opening song is The Vendetta by Stephan Kartenberg, and this is Quando by Julius H. You guys. I love you. That is all. Goodbye.