What Excites Us!

Ep. 58 - Building Connection Using Rope & Scents with Francis Bollwage

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Transcript:

Ep 58 - Building Connections using Rope and Scents with Francis Bollwage

[00:00:00] Gwyn: This podcast is about sex and sexuality, so please only listen if you are an adult without kids or other ears around that cannot, or do not consent to sensitive language and content. Thanks.

How much do you think about your connections with other people? If you're like me, it's quite a bit. Hello and welcome to What Excites Us. Where we talk about sex and sexuality to help foster a more sex-positive world where we can all feel accepted and connected. My name is Gwyn Isaacs. I am a certified sex and relationship coach who has been helping folks feel better professionally since 2017.

In this episode, I'm speaking with Francis Bollwage. A unique voice in the realms of spiritual and sensual connection. He shares his compelling journey from overcoming addiction trauma and a near-death experience. To finding his sense of belonging within the BDSM community. Now as a shibari practitioner, he's teaching other folks how to build transformative connections using rope and aroma

We dive into some of the science behind brain chemistry and essential oils and their ability to trigger memories and alter emotional states. And we discuss how he uses and teaches Shamanic journeying using rope and aroma therapy to create deep, intimate connections.

Frances describes himself as label resistant and he enjoys defining himself as the solution for division by zero, which for those of us not familiar with the maths really just means undefined.

Now, before I get into it, I need to tell you a few things. The first is during this conversation, we were having lots of internet and phone trouble. So the sound quality changes dramatically about halfway through. And I'll bust it and tell you that it's about to happen. Another piece is to let you know, there's a bit more to Francis's story, which you can hear at my Patreon page. Which you can get to easily by going to whatexcitesus.com.

The last bit is to please beg you to be sure that you were subscribed to the podcast. And rate and review it wherever you can. I know that you hear that a lot, but it is really actually helpful. And that one tiny little piece can bring change into our world with the butterfly effect.

Imagine a one-moment tiny five-star review from someone in California. Can make the algorithm present the show to someone in Belgium who needs to hear it so that they know that they're not alone and suddenly it begins their path to healing and wellness. And in five years, they start a company that changes all of our lives for the better. You just never know. Cause that's how the butterfly effect works. And it really just takes you a minute, so please go do it right now. If you can. Okay. Uh, enough of me begging.

Marker

[00:03:15] Gwyn: Welcome Francis Bollwage to What Excites Us I'm so delighted to have you.

[00:03:20] Francis: Well, thank you for having me. I am equally delighted to be here.

[00:03:24] Gwyn: Yay. It's always nice to start. Let's start off with the basics. Who are you? What do you do? Why are you here?

[00:03:33] Francis: Well, I believe I'm a man on a mission, and that mission. Is to bring people together to, encourage connection and to counter the, the state of being that is this lack of connection through interconnectedness via electronics. Funny enough, we're using this. But everybody tends to be constantly connected, but disconnected. Wandering around, staring at their phones, you know, and to a point where people will get together and be together, but not be present. And they will be using their devices in different ways that aren't really fostering connection.

I aim to encourage and to create space for people to connect on levels that aren't necessarily the level of intimacy that when you hear connection, you know, thinking like, couples and partnerships where things are physical and some ways inherently sexual. I operate more in the realms of spirituality and sensuality. Although I do like to recognize the convergency of sexuality and spirituality.

So, it is a practice that I do not frown upon sexuality in any way. B ut I'm not focused or, say, hyper focused on sexuality as a connection, because I know that when I hear connection and when I use connection, it's usually a euphemism for, or it can be a euphemism for, connecting sexually, and I like to inspire connection without the sole purpose being coming together for sexual connection. That's not always something that is even in the potential. Like, people have the ability to connect without having that sexual attraction. Sometimes, that gets in the way of forming a connection, and ultimately, I believe that a strong connection should be formed outside the realm of sexuality first. Because sexuality can tend to confuse with the intoxicants that come from the different chemicals that the body produces during, after, dopamine, serotonin, yeah, there's a handful of them.

[00:06:19] Gwyn: Your audio is gone.

[00:06:21] Francis: perfect.

[00:06:21] Gwyn: So,

[00:06:22] Francis: I usually will end a thought with if that makes any sense, especially when I dive into the metaphysical and start using analogies, I tend to operate in, in the realm of the metaphysical. Come to be comfortable with as I, I had a, a near-death experience going back to 2020, which afterwards I have a, a level of awareness and my consciousness is noticeably altered. I would say I'm a different person comparatively. Like, I've got one foot in the world that everyone else is in, and one foot in a whole nother one.

[00:07:03] Gwyn: I'd love to hear more about that. If you'd like to share.

[00:07:07] Francis: well, just before COVID hit the world, I had got to a point in my, um, let's say, psychonautical journey, which had landed me in a dependency on alcohol, and also a lot of, I mean, I had embraced nihilism to a degree. And also my self-care was, mostly a diet of Dave's doubles from Wendy's. And, uh, I didn't take care of myself the way I do now. That's for certain. But I ended up landing myself in the hospital because I couldn't breathe. And I ended up with like all the symptoms of COVID, but they never diagnosed me with COVID. And they, uh, they had to intubate me. They wanted to fly me, you know, in a helicopter to a bigger hospital. But I had told them that. I didn't want to go. It was just when after Kobe Bryant's helicopter crashed and I had told him I didn't want to go down like Kobe Bryant.

So that was like one of the last lucid things he had told them. And then I was basically, I was in a coma. They put me in a medical coma for eight days. Uh, they had me on a fentanyl drip, in that coma. I had an out-of-body, near death, like, I, I was pretty much dead. They, they were really concerned I found out afterwards, of me not coming back. So it was very, very death-like. They had, you know, were, as I did come back, they started checking me, you know, with, um, I forget what they call that system, but they check your brain to see what kind of cognitive function you have. Because I had been so dead they were, you know, that, that was the next procedure.

But in that eight days of a fentanyl drip, I had the most intense lucid dreaming, like it was what can only be described as an out-of-body experience. Or near death or afterlife or death, life after death or however it's termed, but it was like, the one thing that I remember the most that would be in line with that, sort of experience, because there was a lot of experiences within that experience that are more fringe experiences, but there was 1 point where an orange ball appeared in front of me that looked like a soccer ball and, you know, had like those squares on it. Those like not squares, but you know what a soccer ball looks like. And then it opened up like you would expect, uh, Venus fly traps.

It opened up like that and then closed around me, it was slimy, and I was then inside that ball, and then it spit me out inside a conference room that had no windows and no doors, and there was people around the end of the table, and it was an oval conference room, with an oval table in it, and there was people down the end of the conference room, and there was a woman that was sitting at the head of the table. She was a brunette, in like a businessy, very somber, when they were talking amongst themselves, they were talking about whether or not I should go back. They ended up deciding that that I had enough value if I didn't fulfill my calling.

There was enough value to send me back just for the nurses to be able to save my life. And then, I remember getting spit out on the street again, out of that orange ball. And, I was on, what was like a city street, it, it reminded me of, uh, downtown Providence, which is You know, like 1 of the cities I'm familiar with. And I remember there was a big, um, it was like a mall, but it was somewhat like an amusement park and there was people walking up and down the street.

And I remember there was a group of people. And one of the, one of the guys in the group was like, Oh, excuse me. I got to go do this and broke away from the group of people and went over to that, that like amusement park. It was, they called it the experiments. There was ski lifts kind of things, chairs that were like ski lifts that went into it and came out of it.

He went and got on one of those chairs and went into the thing. And at that point, I saw him, and I knew that I was supposed to go get on one of those chairs, and I did. I went and got on one of the chairs, and it went into the thing, and things got weird, and then I started feeling a lot of pain, and then I started, I started waking up at the hospital, and I was aware of the IV in my arm, that was like where the pain all started to, my awareness of pain, like the pain was more, Everywhere.

And then as I started my consciousness started to coalesce, I noticed that was the IV in my arm. And then for like another couple days, everything was like an augmented reality. I would see I was seeing bugs that were weaving these translucent iridescent not webs, but they were like every bug had one filament that would come out of it, and it would streak across the room. And lots of these little little tiny little bugs like little fairies or something and they leave these little filaments behind them And I could see him and like the orderlies and stuff in the hospital. I tried telling them about them and they were like, there's no bugs, man.

Yeah, so that happened. And, um, believe it or not, after that, I wasn't able to afford my medications and I ended up drinking for a whole nother year, went back to the hospital. And, uh, it wasn't until my nephew who was born when I was in the hospital the first time he was born in another hospital, he started calling me uncle. And that's when I realized. That I had a life, I had a whole nother life to live.

[00:13:57] Gwyn: Is that what led you to this path of feeling like connection is the mission that you're on?

[00:14:07] Francis: Yes, I, more or less accepted my calling, if that makes any sense. I know that when I was drunk and when I was a drunk, I used to enjoy watching Conan O'Brien and Stephen Colbert. And I discovered that they were ordained in the Universal Church of Life, it's called. It's like an online thing, anyone can do it. And I thought, oh, you know, I did it as like a joke. Lady Gaga is also ordained in the Universal Church of Life, as long as Richard Branson.

I mean, Conan O'Brien did it as a joke and I believe Stephen Colbert and I did too. But oddly enough, and I warn anyone who wants to do it as a joke, be careful because you will, or may receive a calling. And when I was resisting my calling like I was walking the other direction, you know. And drinking and making these choices to be disconnected is exactly what I was doing.

I was internalizing my experience and resisting connection, which is still something that I'm learning to overcome. In my effort to express myself in a way that offers this to other people, I'm still struggling with this past self.

[00:15:35] Gwyn: So, what are you doing now to work your mission to foster connection?

[00:15:42] Francis: Well, I've come to find the BDSM community. Is I found that what was integral in my resistance of connection was my own inability to understand my sexual appetites and desires. And I viewed myself in a way that I didn't understand why I was the way I was. And because of that, I would resist any kind of connection because I thought I was protecting people and in a way I was. And I only get so close and I didn't know it at the time, but I had an aversion to touch from a trauma response from when I was a child. You know, I was abused.

I was born and raised in the Children of God, a well-known religious cult. Uh, they exposed children to sexuality early as an experiment, really. And it was abuse, technically, um, not something I was, I was, you know, I didn't know it as abuse. Until I, was able to recognize that as an adult . And I struggled with understanding that and through the acceptance and the understanding that I came to know in the community.

Um, believe it or not, cuddle parties, a cuddle party, my first cuddle party was such a An opening of the mind, you know. Like it allowed me to see that that was what was going on. But before I even got there, I came to rope. I found rope because I had known that I didn't like, I didn't realize I didn't, I had a touch, aversion to touch. I thought it was just about control.

But I would bind or control my partners, keep them from touching me. And When I found rope and I was able to embrace that, I didn't realize it until later, but it was a way of not touching my partner. And it was a way of keeping my partner from touching me while still having a connection. And then I started to explore that and I found shabari. I found the intricacies of it. It's a meditative practice, you know. And then I started meditating. And everything started all of the things started to fall in place.

And now my understanding of rope has taken on a nearly religious experience. I've found that there are different connection practices or understandings that are, oh, I see a word out there, but I cannot get my tongue wrapped around it. It's like analogous. It's like a tense of analogy. But I know that in Kabbalism, they have different Hebrew words to describe it, which I don't know, uh, right off the top of my head. But they speak of, the connection to the divine as a rope that extends up above us to the divine. But it's that connection to the divine that you can always hold onto. And it's described in a manner like a rope.

And rope is the first tool that we are able to create. With the simplest of things, like if you're surviving in a survival situation, the first thing that you want to be able to make. Or if you have, they, they tell you, you know, if you can bring a length of paracord into the wild with your shoelaces can be something that can save you. You can use it to tie a tourniquet. You can use it to bind. To create shelter. You can use rope for so many different things. It's the first tool that we are able to create as an animal to go from the animal to a civilization.

In cultures that are still third world or I know like poly Asian cultures that are sea fairing or third world or anything. They're islanders and they have coconut fiber is one of the resources they have available and rope is the one thing that they make everything they bind different materials together to make their rafts and whatnot and that rope is the connecting thing that allows them to go from existence to thriving. And it's all about connection. It's the fibers, the fibers of our being come together and become that connection.

That ultimately, if we do not have connection, we don't have society. We don't have civilization. We don't have the existence. The elevated experience, if you will,

[00:20:36] Gwyn: So how are you using rope to foster connection between people?

Marker

[00:20:42] Francis: Well, shabari, I guess, in one word. Which is Japanese-style bondage. I like to simplify it so that it's available to anyone who's able to around long enough to learn a few things. Um, both the act of being tied and the act of tying requires a communication on multiple levels and it fosters a connection that goes beyond that of the societal norms. Uh, it is to an extent somewhat taboo.

But I know that just inviting somebody over to come get tied up is not some commonplace. I know that it is in some circles, at least the circles that I am comfortable in, but um, it is operating outside societal norms. However, breaking those societal norms is a way of embracing connection embracing love. You know, is what it comes down to loving without bounds. Interestingly enough. Um using bondage to create freedom ironically. Sounds, um, I suppose oversimplified, but that's what I'm doing.

I do like to also add to the experience 'cause rope and that style of bondage when the bottom or the sub or the person being tied enters into a state of what's called rope space, or you rope drunk, they'll call it as you surrender and relax into the ropes. It is trance-like, and the top will also experience a, not the same, but there's a parallel experience where the top feels it's a power. And in those experiences, there's elements that can be added in, like what I do, shamanic journeying.

This is just using one's voice to create a journey in someone's imagination. You use suggestion to encourage or invite their consciousness to travel with you into imagination using hypnotic invocations and binaural beats.

I also integrate aroma with essential oils, which are a very powerful element using the lizard parts of the brain. The part of the brain that is tied to memory is structurally right next to the olfactory system. Um, And that's why you will notice that yes, you'll smell a smell and it can bring you right back to, you know, mother's cooking, or it can remind you of things that you don't want to remember, but it can literally take you on a journey, just an aroma.

And in that suggestive state of rope space, rope drunk, using these other tools and the experience creates this. It's akin to stepping into that realm, the realm that is beyond. The realm of where that rope that extends above our heads to the divine, if that makes any sense.

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[00:26:02] Gwyn: Yeah, it does. And it sounds like part of your mission is not just to help people connect to each other, but to also foster a connection to the divine. Is that accurate?

[00:26:15] Francis: I do feel that there's a spirituality that, yes, like I mentioned, the convergence of spirituality and sexuality, sensuality, that they are that convergence point, it is the weaving of these elements that is our experience. Every single thing that's alive is here through a sexual experience. Plants, bugs, everything, microorganisms, somehow, some sort of sexual experience forms life.

[00:26:54] Gwyn: This is the point where Frances' phone died and this is the second half of our recording.

[00:27:00] Francis: You know, that makes one feel comfortable, then yes. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, you know, still yes. But, um, if you are comfortable with some other language, you know, like source or Oneness or, beyond, or, you know, if there's another way of saying it, that makes one feel comfortable, then yeah, it could be that I'm not pigeonholing the spirituality and taglining it to any kind of religion. but yeah, simply put, yes.

[00:27:33] Gwyn: So, to be clear, when I say the divine, it is encompassing all every tradition religion,

[00:27:40] Francis: yes. Yes. It's um, I mean, I do like the term oneness and, um, the place from where all, you know, everything comes where everything is just, oneness, you know? So yeah, it parallels, I suppose, the scientific understanding of, you know, reality and, quantum physics and what have you.

Um, I don't know if I want to get into all of this, but, you know, it's like the science behind manifestation, if you will. Which comes down to some simple things. Like the double slit experiment with light and how light is waves and particles until it's observed. And, uh, that alone is a peek into what ends up being what is called oneness. But, um, yes,

[00:28:28] Gwyn: awesome. I love that. Bringing it back to the earthly plane again, a little bit. You mentioned aromas and essential oils. Can you talk more about that?

[00:28:40] Francis: Okay. Um. Well, like, 1 of the access points to the primal cognition system is aroma. And your memory is tied right into there. I don't have the, the diagrams in front of me. I actually have a diagram on my Instagram that shows the different structures and I shouldn't know the names, but it's the primal brain thing, like the lizard brain. You can access and store memory through aroma and also it can take the higher faculties. On a journey, if you will, through aroma.

[00:29:25] Gwyn: How does that help foster connection?

[00:29:29] Francis: Um, well, certain essential oils will fire off certain neurotransmitters, if you will. You know, the effects of the spirit of a plant you know, the actual spirits of a plant it's distilled out of the plant. So that have the power of a plant. You know, like, whatever that plant does, which some plants are like, aphrodisiacs what have you.

Geranium comes to mind, which is associated with the heart opening. Chakra opening oil, but it actually does affect the heart, medically. Like it actually does similar things to what, like, cacao, the thromboline, and cacao. Um, so, like, there's chemical properties to essential oils that, do actually affect the neuro system and the different systems in the body dependent upon the oil.

And so that actually does its own interaction with your systems as well as aroma. And then interestingly enough, geranium, coming back to that, like, it has antiviral properties, and it can keep certain things from breaking out and keep other things down, like, it can kill certain viruses and whatnot, on contact. And actually, weirdly enough. Like, it can kill viruses. They box the flowers up, like, in, glass boxes, and it was still able to kill viruses, it's like, mindfuck the viruses from a distance.

There, there's a lot of interesting plant medicine that, that actually is going on beyond the aroma alone. And the way that it can, act as an anchor in an experience, you expose yourself to an aroma, take an experience on, and then re-expose yourself to that aroma outside the experience, and you can recall the experiences. You can lock an experience into an aroma. I do that with meditation. I'll do a self-tying meditation. And so it's like bondage and meditation and then aroma therapy. I do this on myself and it's what I'm offering as a workshop teaching people how to do it for themselves and to partners. And, um, yeah,

Marker

[00:31:49] Gwyn: Well, that's a perfect segue because that is actually what I was going to ask you about next. Can you tell us a little bit about the workshops that you're doing?

[00:31:58] Francis: Yes, the workshop I'm calling Embrace Love, a connection experience, which I'm teaching in a partner format, but I'm trying to not have self-tying in this workshop. Because I've noticed that teaching self-tying and partner tying alongside each other. They tend to be better, in different workshops. But anyhow, the format here is partner tying and that is really more about connection than just doing it for yourself.

Doing it in a partnership, it has all the qualities of a dance. You know, and you can really put a lot into it. And then once the simple tying is done, then there's the shamanic journey and portion with the aroma integration, and that is just to, like, it's just when you're in that state, you'd be surprised how you get a little whiff of aroma, and it can just take your mind. places.

And then with the suggestion of the, you know, hypnotic invocation, saying you're on a beach, you know, It just, brings the mind places. And that isn't so much about anchoring into the moment, um, it's just more like painting from a palette with aroma.

Well, this experience is what, what I do, but I think in my workshops, I'm going to keep things simple for people, and just have like, uh, one fragrance that they can take with them in a roller. And, um, in a 1 on 1 session, I can work with oils like a pallet. And, uh, when you say, you know, you're on a beach, you can put somebody more on a beach with an aroma that's specific. But for the workshops, I've been just using actually geranium or lavender to keep it simple.

I've also using just some simple knots. So it's not complex shabari so anyone can learn it. And it's doing something called chaos rope. Like, there's no real placeage of the rope and its groundwork as well. Like, they call it matwork it's not any kind of suspension or like, anybody can do this right from the start.

Um, but. It's, intended to foster a connection because as you learn how to do it, you're going to want to learn how to do it more and better, I would hope. And you need a tie-in partner to do it. So that becomes a connection and it requires an intimacy and communication and that's that's what I, hope to share as well as a spiritual journey. And a connection to the divine and access to oneness. So, yeah.

[00:34:57] Gwyn: So, it sounds like it would be a great entryway into all of these things, but that you might not want to bring your 1st date to this.

[00:35:11] Francis: Well, honestly, I wouldn't bar anyone from, you know. Uh, I'm not trying to make it a couple's thing necessarily. I would say that anybody can start out with something like this. And, you know, have it just be an experience and then go learn how to do it to other people. You know, it doesn't have to be, uh, the beginning of something. A lifelong commitment, but, uh, again, it's. I would like to see people make connections that they enjoy. I suppose,

[00:35:53] Gwyn: Yeah,

[00:35:54] Francis: yeah, it would be better if you knew each other beforehand.

[00:35:58] Gwyn: Yeah, that's all I would say that it. That it's not necessarily for the, um, so what do you do kind of conversation?

[00:36:08] Francis: I mean, I would like to be able to approach somebody that I'm interested in and be in my own class with them in in that, you know, be like, you know, I'm offering this workshop and I don't have a tying partner. I don't know i, I would like to think that I could pull that off. So, I don't know. That's high aspirations, but as I'm committing thought to it. I'm seeing myself like, stranded in an airport, you know, I missed the flight and I've got like, 10 hours on my hand and I. Throw a pop up event up somewhere. I'm finding a tying partner and I'm finding people to go to the event and making the best of, uh a misfortunate situation, that's just coming to me in thought, you know, as I'm thinking about it, or it's coming to my imagination, attuned to that possibility. Yeah,

[00:37:07] Gwyn: bring your random strangers. That could be fun.

[00:37:10] Francis: bring in a friend, bring in a stranger who's a new friend,

[00:37:14] Gwyn: Yeah,

[00:37:15] Francis: you know? yeah, that would be beautiful, huh? A new, a stranger who's a new friend who becomes a lifelong partner.

[00:37:23] Gwyn: Yeah, that could be lovely. But it does sound like, um, you don't need to have any experience with rope necessarily any experience with kink.

[00:37:32] Francis: It is an entry-level, but it also has it has wings,

[00:37:36] Gwyn: Right.

[00:37:36] Francis: I mean, this is intended to be an over-the-clothes tying. So, there is then the next level is, I would suppose, with no clothes, you know, that's that's a good next step. Then you can add all sorts of sensation as well, instead of aroma therapy, or add it with the aroma, you know, you can do all sorts of sensation.

I've done, um. Not in my classes, but my workshop, but, like, on 1 on 1 sessions. With, um, you know, feathers. Come to mind, but impact as well. One of my favorites is, uh, it's that brush you brush a horse with, you know. Like, can make a very, it's kind of coarse for a brush, you know, but it can make some really soft touches sensation, but then you can actually use that thing for impact as well and it does a whole nother thing.

But, um, yeah, sensation while bound, you know, while in that trance like, rope-drunk space is.. You know, I've had some, I've submitted myself to, to tops, you know, so I know what certain, you know, I, it's wild the way the rope, um, it gives you a more of a consciousness of your breath as you could feel the rope get tighter every time you breathe. Um, you can feel your heart beating against the rope that's on your body, you know. And then having certain sensations different, you know, like, it can be painful. It can be pleasurable. It's just different sensations. They are all enhanced because the rope now has drawn your attention towards your body. And now these sensations, they're heightened by the rope itself.

Like the bondage part of it is a whole nother thing. Because of the way you submit your mind to the fact that you're now bound. You're not able to move. But then the rope being on your body is different than say, just being in cuffs, or some kind of leather restraints or something, something simple that ties you, you know, that you see. It's an entire other sensation unto itself. I haven't had impact done in rope. Suppose now that I'm talking about it. I'm like gonna add that to my list, uh, feels like

[00:40:05] Gwyn: I love it when somebody comes on to talk about something and discovers something else that they wanna play with. That's wonderful for me.

[00:40:13] Francis: Feels like the very 1st timee 1st time is always wonderful. . I love having 1st times.

[00:40:21] Gwyn: Well, tell us how people can find you and learn more about and hopefully take some of your workshops.

[00:40:29] Francis: All right, well, there's my socials, and I do have access to space in New York City, of all places, and I'm offering my workshop and Pagan's paradise. And I'm also offering private sessions. Um, I, I hear, um, Leonard Cohen playing in the background there. The 1st, we take Manhattan and Berlin. So, I suppose I'll be offering private sessions in Berlin next. As I tell you, for me to be saying that I'm offering private sessions in New York City.

Private bondage sessions. With aroma integration. You know, hey, first we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I am, interestingly enough, I have taken classes internationally, in Montreal and London. And, I have been schooled underneath an actual shaman. Although I'm not initiated shaman, I've been schooled by one, so, and I'm internationally trained in, uh, rope bondage. So, um, yeah, New York, apparently, and Pagan's Paradise. My socials will have details about the upcoming workshop in New Hampshire.

But, um, I'm Snarfox. Um, you can find me on FET. Um, I'm Truxvelt Wild Wellness. Truxvelt, that's, uh, Latin. Trux. Trux. Velt. For a wild or ferocious fox, it's my more educated and mysterious, and elusive fox. But, um, yeah, my spirit animal is a fox, and this is my rigger’s name, Snarfox. I can be found as Snarfox if you can find a Snarfox or catch a Snarfox.

Snar is the Original, it's the old English spelling of snare and snarl. And a snarfox is a fox that's wise to the snare. It's a nonsnarable fox. So if you can catch yourself a snarfox, well then you can get ahold of me, and I will tie you up.

[00:42:47] Gwyn: So is that S N A R F O X?

[00:42:52] Francis: Yes.

[00:42:53] Gwyn: And are you on Instagram?

[00:42:56] Francis: Yes, that's T R U X V U L P E.

[00:43:02] Gwyn: Okay.

[00:43:03] Francis: Wild wellness. I also have a webpage. Wild Wellness, uh, wild, uh,

wild energy, essential. I got another Instagram that's that as well.

[00:43:15] Gwyn: And we'll link to all of this in the show notes so people can find you that way too.

[00:43:21] Francis: Yeah. And then there's my Facebook, which is Franciscus D. Bollwage there's more of a story to that, believe it or not. I like to imbue things with significance and intention. So I tell stories in little places, all the cracks. I leave no stone unturned or I definitely hide things under stones. Let's put it that way.

[00:43:43] Gwyn: So I like to end my podcast by asking you one final question, which is, Frances Bollwage, what excites you?

[00:43:53] Francis: Rope, rope excites me and my primal aspects and, uh, and purity, purity and adulteration, adulteration of purity, if that makes any sense.

[00:44:11] Gwyn: Sure. I love a good paradox. Totally works. This has been really interesting. Thank you for coming on and doing this with me. I appreciate it.

[00:44:21] Francis: Thank you for having me

[00:44:22] Gwyn: What a story, huh? I love the idea of these workshops. He's teaching. And as a person who lives without another adult to play with, I'm hoping he will do some where he teaches the self-tying side that he talks about too. Can you hear me, Francis? I want to go to the selftying workshop.

Stepping back a second from talking to just Francis. I would love to hear all of your thoughts on this episode or any of the other episodes. Please go to my website and leave a voice note for me there. Or you can send me an email or you can even join the Facebook group by searching What Excites Us in the group section on Facebook.

You can get ahold of Francis Bollwage by using his socials, which he mentioned when we were still talking or his website, which are all listed in the show notes. If you would like to tell your story on this podcast as an anonymous or not participant, I would really, really love to talk to you. Please use the methods I mentioned it before to find me. Also in the show notes.

And if you'd like to contribute more than the review you have already written, right? You already wrote the review. There is a Patreon page where you can buy me a cup of coffee. Or what have you. I have some coaching availability coming up soon. So we could even talk about that. Just let me know. Talk to me.

What excites us is produced, edited and hosted by me. I'm Gwyn Isaacs. The music is by Steven Kartenberg and Julius H. Tickle.life hosts this podcast, they have so much other great sex positive content there please visit them. Thank you so much for listening. And please remember that you are truly loved. 'cause.

I love you.