What Excites Us!

Episode 4 - Ico from the Enlightened Consent Foundation

Transcript:

Ico  0:14  
One of the things I'm intending to help shift is changing the focus from What does society says is okay, what did my parents say is a typical what my friends think through so for? What does my church or my religion says acceptable to? What is it that I say the triple? What do I need? What do I want? What do I desire? Some of my core things I work with is with my clients is one clarity. What is it that I actually want to congruent, like, becoming okay with wanting what my heart wants? And then three communication, being able to articulate those wants, needs and desires so you get to have a positive experience.

Gwyn  1:08  
Hello, and welcome to What excites us. My name is Gwyn Isaacs, sometimes called Sex Fairy Gwyn. And this is a show about sex and sexuality. The corporations that own the platform that you are listening to this on are worried about breaching obscenity laws. So I have to tell you that if you are 16, they would insist that you don't listen to this. And if you are younger than that, you might find it gross anyway, so come back in a couple years. This episode is a good one for sexuality professionals as well as everyone else, because I am talking to Ico, the wandering love mystic about his upcoming summit to help coaches etc. build a better business. And we discussed the Enlightened Consent Foundation, as well as his coaching practices. See, something for most everyone. Ico, which stands for the Incredible Caring Organism is the founder of the Enlightened Consent Foundation, which provides kinky, polyamorous, and LGBTQ+ identified individuals with transformative experiences and supportive resources. So they get to experience being completely seen, honored and loved to co-create a world where everyone feels like they belong. Ico identifies as a queer gender fluid kinky switch who is polyamorous, they are creating safer communities for people like themselves to be connected, embraced, understood and loved for who they truly are. Ico has been studying the subjects of love, dating, sex and attraction since 2004. They've had over 300 hours of training in recovery from trauma, therapeutic kink, somatic central healing, and energy sex facilitation. From these trainings, Ico has been able to empower their clients to get clarity on their needs and desires. become okay with wanting what their heart wants, and learn the communication skills to be able to share those needs and desires with others so they can experience them in their lives. Ico is also an Amazon international best selling co author with two books, sexy secrets to a juicy love life. And ignite love, real stories of defining love and manifesting more of it in your everyday life. They work with individuals and groups of people to discover, embrace and communicate what is true and authentic to their soul. And what they need to have the most fulfilling love life and relationships that their heart desires. But first, let's hear the word on the street.

What do you think about polyamory?

Speaker 1
A whatever. floats your boat, but certainly whatever people consent to and whatever brings you pleasure. It's not hurting anyone. It's cool if everybody's into it. So long as it's consensual, that's awesome.

Speaker 2  4:17  
It could be defined as almost anything based on the Yeah, the values and goals of whoever's engaging in it.

Gwyn  4:27  
It's where people have multiple partners.

Speaker 3  4:31  
Oh, no, I don't I don't go for that. I don't go for that. Whatever you choose to do, I feel I don't have to be against him because that's what you choose to do. You know. I think, you know,   it exists for a reason. I think clearly like it's it's a way of living.

Speaker 4 4:51  
I think it's fascinating. I think that it's embracing what a lot of people have to like what humans have to offer. I think that a s humans, we inherently like to put things in boxes. I think that we like to categorize things. And that also restrains us in a bunch of ways. And I think that to acknowledge that it's something that we do, and maybe something that isn't applicable to everything, like sexuality or gender or identity, I think is a great thing. I think it's something to explore more.

Speaker 5
You only live in it by yourself. And other people having fun. So have your fun, ya. 

Leah Carey  5:26  
Hey, friends, I'm Leah Carey inviting you to listen to good girls talk about sex, where I interview everyday women about their sex lives, 

Speaker 6  5:35  
you know,I want to be like pushed against the wall. Like in the movies. 

Speaker 7  5:39  
This feels good. But do I look fat 

Speaker 8  5:41  
that always turned me on. But I don't think I've admitted that to my husband have sex with women highly recommend 

Leah Carey  5:47  
good girls talk about sex is here to remind you, you're not alone. And your desires are completely normal. Listen in your favorite podcast app today.

Gwyn  5:59  
So I'm like hustling. And I usually try to be like, prepared and calm and you know, like, all ready to go. And now you get the you get the hurried me, lucky you. 

Ico  6:12  
YAY, I'm special

Gwyn  6:14  
(laughs) You are special, but in lots of ways. (laughs) Oh   Gosh, so right, Ico. Thank you for coming on to my podcast. This is super exciting. How are things?

Ico 6:23  
Your very welcome. Well, I founded my nonprofit, the Enlightened consent foundation. 

Gwyn  6:37  
Super excited about that. 

Ico  6:39  
Yes, we're out to cause a global paradigm shift of how humanity relates to sexuality and sexual expression. And our main mission is to provide transformative experiences and supportive resources to those who identify as kinky, polyamorous or LGBTQ+. So they get to experience being completely seen honored and loved.

Gwyn  7:05  
no small task and super important. I this is fantastic work that you are doing.

Ico  7:12  
Thank you. And part of the reason why I have created the nonprofit is because I identify in all of those realms. Within it's been over 17 years, I've actively been a part of the BDSM and polyamorous communities, when I first when discovered them. And it's about three years that I've been identifying as queer gender fluid, instead of cis-male and been an active part of the LGBTQ+ community as well. And one of the things I hold is that as long as the people that are directly involved are consenting, and they're honoring the existing relationship agreements that they have, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or feels about what these consenting people are doing.

Gwyn  8:00  
Why did you choose to do this as a nonprofit? 

Ico  8:04  
For the global paradigm shift that I'm caused, that I'm being a cause in the matter for, it's going to take a lot more than just me. One of the things that I am utilizing the mind consent foundation for is to have relationship coaches, sex educators, and other people who work in the sexual arena realms actually partner with my nonprofit. So we can help support them in what it is that they're doing in the world, because a lot of them are getting kicked off their platforms, because their sexual content, a lot of them don't have the actual business background and expertise to have a structure like that a normal company has and alot of them just aren't making much money to be able to actually live off of their passion and calling. So in partnering with my nonprofit, one of the things that I seek to do is to actually help them put structures in place to actually build their business, to be able to give them a safe platform for them to openly talk about these sexual subjects and get their message out without having to be worried about being kicked off or being shadow banned. And also them being able to have opportunities to actually earn money off of what they feel called to do in the world. In support of that, I am actually having my foundation put on our very first summit this coming November, the 12th to 14th where the focus is going to be working with tantricas, sex educators, and relationship coaches to teach them regular business skills so they can actually have those fundamental pieces in place to help their business in calling thrive?

Gwyn  10:07  
That's brilliant. So if someone in the sex educator relationship coaching industry, for lack of better terminology, wants to partner with you, how does that work? Tell me more about the ins and outs, as it were (giggling)

Ico  10:24  
The ins and outs  are frankly still being created. And I deal with data on a on a case by case basis. And I don't fully know what it's going to grow into as this particularly grows, one of the things that I've come to don't realize is that I envision having multiple fiscal centers throughout the United States and, frankly, throughout the world, and recognizing that the three main demographics that our nonprofit serves are very distinct animals from one another. So I'm imagining that there will be places that are dedicated to just the LGBTQ+ community, and other places that are dedicated just to polyamory, and ethical non monogamy, and places that are dedicated to just the kink and BDSM community. Then there'll be other places, they'll be like, you get to all commingle and come together, as much as you want them as much as you wish, I am creating an online version of it, which I'm calling an enlightened consent village, which will be more of like a forum place for people to interact and share, and being able to be seen, honored and celebrated for who they are and what they truly desire. 

Gwyn
So like, like an online community where people can chat with one another?

Ico
That is part of it, as well as good education going on, for whatever it is that may be interested in. And, you know, I welcome people, for those who are coaches and consent experts and who work in the sexual realms who want to go and have a platform to get the message off, that is one of the places I'm going to be giving them place and access to actually be able to speak and spread their message.

Gwyn  12:20
That's beautiful. That's really lovely. So it sounds like you're still formulating a lot of the actual details. Are you encouraging people to come and chat with you and build more? Or are you at a place where you're like, No, now we just need to focus with the people that we have.

Ico  12:37  
I actually need to bring more people in because one of the things that I recognize is that I'm really great at holding the vision I'm really great at being able to, you know actually do on the the production part of like showing up and in shining and putting on whatever event that we're doing on and where I struggle is being able to do the this stuff that's in between. So I'm looking for the implementer type people, the ones who love marketing, the ones who love putting together websites, the ones who love to enroll, and other people would especially love to be able to find those who might have a passion for doing fundraising for nonprofits, or those for like commissioned sales, people that are interested in helping to enroll in some of the products and services that we're offering to help better fund what it is that we're up to. I do have my board and my board has been working on stuff for the overall structure. So the legal structures are there in place, I'm just looking for the people to help move things forward. Because there's so many different things that I want to go and do. And just what I found is like trying to jump between a whole bunch of ones hasn't really worked at all. So I'm just focusing on one at this point, which the summit in November is like the big one that I'm working towards right now and putting together speakers for and looking for people or organizations that would like to be sponsors for that. I'm also running my own coaching program right now that I just started this week that we're recording this, which is at the end of October where I'm doing a five week program called Homeward Bound an incredible inward journey, which is specifically for people who are queer, non-binary identified, like myself that have struggled feeling like they belong anywhere and have like going from place to place trying to find a place that feels like home. So the shift that I am going on a journey with them in and I'm going on this journey myself as well is being able to create that sense of home being able to create that sense of belonging within ourselves by the end of these five weeks the idea is that regardless of where we may be at physically in this 3D realm, that will feel that we're at home. And regardless of who else is or is not around us we'll feel that we belong. And I believe that that will make a tremendous difference both for myself, as those are things that I've struggled with. And also for the participants that I have joining me in this pilot course you're doing this for the first time.

Gwyn  15:38  
Beautiful, I want to I want to come back to both of those programs in just a second. I made a note. So so I'll remember. But I just real quick want to finish up on the seeking people to work with you and your Enlightened Consent Foundation. It's called Enlightened Consent, yes?

Ico  15:59 
Enlightened Consent Foundation is the nonprofit. 

Gwyn  16:02  
Okay. And you are actively seeking people who are interested in being doers, and and helping you build this beautiful vision and get it off the ground with some of the more nuts and bolts things, Yeah?

Ico  16:17  
Yes, the ones who are really good at implementing,. 'Cause if I can have people there be like, here, I have this idea, I can see how it works, I can see how it flows together with a bigger vision, go help make it manifest and get people into it. And then you know, when the actual program thing comes up, I will be great being there being like helping to, to lead that just with what I'm envisioning for the summit. But, you know, I'll see myself as being like the emcee for the summit, introducing each one the guests we know to facilitate the flow that when it actually goes in shows up.

Gwyn  16:55  
Excellent. It's, it's a beautiful vision, and I love how grand it is that that you are intent on changing the dominant paradigm. I mean, that is no tiny task. Right? Like, that's, that's big, it's huge! And that you are actually taking steps towards doing that, I think is really beautiful. And so if anyone aligns with that vision, which I'm certain that many of my listeners do, and you have the time and capability, please check the show notes and contact Ico because let's change the world, motherfuckers. Like, let's do it! You can't start from nowhere, you have to start from somewhere. And you've already started the starting. Boy, that was eloquent. (laughs)

Ico  17:46  
Starting and if people want a couple of easy ways to reach out, they can reach out to me by email of enlightened at the email address enlightenedconsent@gmail.com. We also have the the website enlightenedconsent.org. And for those who are interested in more of like getting coaching around their own sexuality, and some of the programs we're putting on that is going through enlightenedconsent.net. 

Gwyn  18:18  
So let's talk about that piece next. You're building this program, you said a five week program, tell me more.

Ico  18:25  
Sure, happy to go and talk about it. We literally just had our first lesson during this week on this, this Monday. So we're in week one, of week five. And during this particular week, we are focused on going taking a look at what does it mean to us as an individual to actually belong? What does it mean to us as an individual to, to feel at home? Because they're beautiful, abstract concepts. And what I found is that if we don't recognize, or have a clear idea what it actually means to belong or means to be at home, it can be staring at us right in the face. And as being like, I don't feel at home, I don't feel I belong was like, you know, you're actually looking for? What does it actually look like to you and to me more importantly, what does it actually feel like in your body? When you imagine yourself? Feeling that you belong? What does it feel like when you feel at home?

Gwyn  19:33  
Yeah, that's also huge. You take on no small tasks.

Ico  19:39  
I love to go deep and I love to make it worthwhile. 

Gwyn  19:43
Yeah.

Ico  19:44 
If it's not making a difference, and it's not meaningful. Why is it that we're actually doing it?

Gwyn  19:52  
So is it a an online course that you're working with people?

Ico  19:57  
It is an online course. Yes. So once a week on Mondays, we are doing the the actual class portion of it, which is interactive. And then once a week, we're also having a kind of like office hours of like, Hey, what are you dealing with? What kind of successes have you had? What are you struggling with? Show up and just being able to be with what is so and get some support and coaching around that.

Gwyn  20:28  
That's lovely. So and feel free, you're telling me it's none of my business. But what what have been some of the answers to what feels like home?

Ico  20:38  
I will actually go and share what it is that I came up with. Because as I mentioned, I am doing this myself as well. I wrote it down. Where was it in my notebook?

Gwyn  20:57  
I think that's lovely, too, that you are not standing up high on a pedestal going, I'm going to teach you how to do this. But like, this is something I need to work on. Let's do it together. I think that's really lovely.

Ico  21:09  
Well, thank you. And, quite frankly, this is a course that I created. Because this is what's been on my heart and feeling where, feeling what is most alive for me. Because in the shifts that I've been going on, and something I've struggled with it for most of my life, what I've experienced is like, I felt that I was part of a group or belong someplace for only a short period of time, then something would happen. And I lost that. And then I go searching for another place of Do I belong here? Do I fit in here? Is home here and being like, now kind of somewhat. Still there being something, I don't have that. And so this is just as much for me as in any of my participants, and I'm choosing to be transparent in this being like, I'm not yet on the other side of this. Here's my goal where I want to have all of us be at and I'm right here with you. I've been working on this myself. And so I've got some steps kind of forward ahead. I can be like I know exactly where you're at. Because I've pretty much been there. I'm almost there myself. And we're doing this together. I'm going on this journey if you want to join me, great. If I'm doing this by myself, I'm doing this for me, because this is what's important for my well being while  and health. 

Gwyn  22:38  
Yeah

Ico  22:39  
So I found out where it is in my notes of my own journaling of what just home feel like in my body. And for me, when I felt into being at home, it feels relaxed my chest with my heart opening and a tingling on the edges of my body kind of like a soft fuzziness at the edges. And then when I looked at what does belonging feel like to me? Belonging feels like love, connection, part of the community, cozy, warmness like being wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blankets, and feeling of being safe and relaxed.

Gwyn  23:35  
Yeah, I bet a lot of people can relate to that. So it's five weeks. And where do you think you'll not? Where do you think you'll be like in an emotional state, but what what do you envision the last class being like? Like, what will you be tackling at that point?

Ico  23:56  
Oh, at that point with the last class, it is about bringing everything in the previous four weeks together, which is the other weeks that we're going to be going into like that the next week is going to be getting into actually going through a practice of going inside of ourselves to begin to create a sense of, of home and belonging within ourselves. So one of the things I've been trained in is shamanic soldiering. Being able to take people within sight of themselves into their own internal worlds and being able to help create spaces where they can go and interact with the different parts of themselves and interact with them. And through that, we're going to be consciously building a space that is their home, whatever they want to go and create and look like. Then in another week we're going to be delving into being able to actually invite people into our homes. And being able to be like, I've created this space. I feel that now I belong, and I'm at home. I think you're pretty cool. I want to go and invite you into my world do you want to come visit my world and check it out? And be like, you know, building that community, one of the analogies with was the idea of kind of, like, a contractor is like building a neighborhood of different houses being like, No, you can have like track houses or like all the same, or you can have houses or like each are so individually built the building different cells, different ways, and you're still all part of that community. So we're building our homes together, and then going to be like, hey, come check out what I've built. Because I like you, I trust you. And I feel safe in letting you in and being able to have that and have that brought in and inviting other people to, to be like, I know I belong with me, regardless of you choose or not. So I'm inviting you to belong with me. Do you want to come belong with me and visit my home? 

Gwyn  26:20  
I, I love this. I, I hope that this is a program that you continue doing, because there's certainly plenty of need for it in the world. I'd love to see people going through it because it's lovely, it's it's just really beautiful. Tell me about what's happening in November.

Ico  26:36  
Okay, awesome. So in November, Enlightned Consent Foundation is going to do our first three day Summit. I am finding sex positive business structure people to be able to come forward and teach their business skills and structures that tantricas, sex educators, and relationship coaches can put into their business to go and support them in moving forward. One of the people who said yes, to me, at this point is Reid Mihalko, who for several years has run Sex Geek Summer Camp, which is also designed to help sex geeks of various kinds create thriving business practices.

Gwyn  27:24  
Is it an online Summit? 

Ico  27:26  
It is going to be an online summit over the course of three days that Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And I'm looking to have both times where there are structured times for the speakers go and talk and to teach people. I'm also looking to go and incorporate structures where the attendees are able to go and mingle and network and collaborate with one another. So we can actually help build a greater community and network and help people to go and come together. Because I really do believe in collaboration supporting one another, instead of seeing what other people are doing is as competition and looking to shift from, there's only so much to, there are more than enough clients throughout the entire world that we can go and help. Especially as we've been learning, you know, through this pandemic, and shifting to this virtual platform that we can reach so many more people compared to just being stuck in a particular geographic location. I had to come to terms that I'm not a good fit for everyone. And you know, there's been a part of me that is wanted to be liked and, and accepted by everybody show and in trying to make myself small enough to be accepted by everybody. I've been able to help very few people because I've been so squished down. And when I look back on my life, the times when I've had the biggest impact and when my life has flowed the best and most magically and had some of the most wonderful experiences was when I was standing in my own authentic power and my own authentic self expression. And just letting my freak flag fly and openly being the you know, queer gender fluid kinky switch, polyamorous pagan that I am. And just being like, here I am and trusting that those that resonate with me will go and actually come to me and those who run away and in fear or whatever, it's okay I'm not the kind of person for them.

Gwyn  29:50  
You are a wandering love mystic.

Ico  29:55  
Yes.

Gwyn  29:56  
Tell us more about that, please?

Ico  29:58  
The idea of being a Becoming a wandering love mystic is the idea of being able to travel to different places to go and give presentations to go and give talks, or to be able to do book signings. Because I am a two time Amazon internationally best selling co-author, my most recent book, "Ignite Love" came out amid the pandemic last year on July 31, and you know, it's still hit number one status in 11 categories, and those seven categories across 11 different countries.

Gwyn  30:40  
Okay. Yeah

Ico  30:44  
It kind of ties into the whole program that I'm doing right now of like making home and belonging with inside myself. 

Gwyn  30:52  
Yeah!

Ico  30:53  
Being able to go around. Like, that seems like a fun idea to me at this point. And I've said for years, I want to be a world traveler. So, why not actually step into embracing that and seeing what that looks like and be like? Yeah, the same thing is my course Homeward Bound in inward journey, I can be like, Hey, I'm going to go on these traveling adventures, you want to come with me? Great. You want to be here with you know where you're at, great! I'm gonna like, keep going on and I'll go some places. I'll make regular visits, other places. I'll be there on occasion. Other places will be like, Well, I've been there. Don't want to go back there. Again, thanks for the experience.

Unknown Speaker  31:37  
Right. That's great. So that's the wandering part. Tell me more about the love mystic part.

Unknown Speaker  31:47  
In my work that I go and do, as I mentioned, my wheelhouse includes being able to help people get into what the what they really want, need and desire for themselves. I help people delve into their heart into their soul into what they love into what they desire. And so, for the past couple years, I've actually been if anyone asked me to a particular title, what I use, I would call myself a Sacred Sexuality Shaman. As one of my other mentors, Francesca Gentile,  taught me the idea that anything can be done in a sacred manner, including sexuality. And so being able to go and combine what I've learned and picked up over the years, including everything that I've learned in the sexual realm, like over 250 hours of education, in in trauma release work, and being able to help people work through their traumas. And then also, in working with the the magical and mystical in the 10 plus years that I've been into paganism and working off of being able  to work with the Divine and coming from a place that the Divine is within each of us and I parts of me truly believe that part of what I'm doing and why I'm doing this work in depth in this lifetime is to bring together a unification that (sigh) you spent so much time dividing ourselves from one another and you know, I've spent my lifetime being like, I don't fit in, I'm so different, I'm so other. And even using using these labels for 17 years of I'm kinky, I'm polyamorous, I'm here. I'm queer, I'm pagan, you know, I don't fit in and looking at, okay, if I actually accept the premise that I'm on the soul level, on the energetic level, I have everything that is inside of me, good, bad, light, dark, etc. And I'm willing to go wherever you're at, I'll meet you there, I'll take you to the depths of hell and back I will go you to go with you to the ecstatic heights of heaven and back and I will go in and around in all of it. And say everything is inside of me. Something I also got is like, if I have everything then therefore I also must have a normal part of me that I also get to don't find and discover and embrace as well and being like, Hey, we're all in this together. We're all part of this together. And along with that, there are three main pillars that I infuse, have chosen to infuse in, in the past year both into my business as well as my personal life. Which is love, compassion and humanity. And when I'm able to look at the humanity, of seeing that at the core of whatever is going on that there's a human being, a soul, trying to do the best they can with what they have with what they're capable of, in that particular moment, I find that it's much easier for me to go and bring forth a feeling of love for for them as a being, and also bringing compassion to them for what is going on, even if I am totally hating, you know, or stand against what the circumstances are, what it is that they're saying or doing at that time.

Gwyn  35:40  
Yeah, that's really good. So are you actively taking clients at the moment,

Ico  35:48  
I am actively taking clients at the moment. And I do have coaching packages available for for those who want to do more of this direct work with me. And you can actually go to my website of enlightenedconsent.net, and see about scheduling an exploratory time with me. And talk about if we may be a good fit and what you're struggling with and how I might be able to go and help you further from there.

Gwyn  36:20  
And how nifty if you just happen to show up in their area! (giggles)

Ico  36:24  
All the betters Yes. 

Gwyn  36:26  
Yeah. That's great. 

Ico  36:29  
That could probably be a future offering. Of me actually just showing up and like spending a week with you to go really in depth. 

Gwyn  36:40  
Wow. 
I actually want to go into that. That sounds kind of fun.
That sounds really intimidating to me. (laughing) On both ends. If it works for you, that'd be great. It makes me think of Do you remember that TV show The Nanny that was on? Oh, God, probably a decade ago, because I fantasized about it.

Ico  37:01
Fran Drescher?

Gwyn  37:02 
No, that is the nanny. But that's not what I'm talking about.

Ico  37:04  
Oh, are you talking about Super Nanny?

Gwyn  37:07  
SuperNanny! Yes!

Ico  37:08  
The one that would come in with the kids that were misbehaving. 

Gwyn  37:11  
Right, right, right. And she'd be there for several days. I don't think she lived to there. But she'd be there for several days. And then like, she'd tell the parents what they're doing wrong and help the kids sort of guide them because it's usually never the actual kids problem, and guide them into you know, how to help their parents not fuck up so much. (Laughs) Now that is a very simplified view people, please don't call me on that. 
(Both laugh) But you could do

Ico  37:39  
broad brushstrokes right now.

Gwyn  37:41  
Right? Right, right. You could go in and hang out with people for several days and be like, Okay, this is good. This is good. Maybe you need to look at this. This is good. This is good. You know, let's reframe this particular issue. That would be so cool. That's so cool. I love that idea. You should totally build that out and put a, put it on your website and see if somebody jumps at it. That sounds really fun.

Ico  38:06  
That's, that does sound fun to me as well. Why not? Why not go and put that out there too. 

Gwyn  38:10  
Yeah, exactly. 

Quick side note, folks, the audio gets a little bit glitchy here, just stay tuned, the content is still great 

Ico  38:18
Being able to do this homeward bound the incredible inward journey is one of my first forays into this is what's on my heart. This is what's alive for me, I'm throwing this out here. And being like, I have some people that have chosen to join me, yay!

Gwyn  38:35
That's wonderful 

Ico  38:36  
I'm, I'm doing this for me as well. And you know, in, in sharing it with you, I hear resonance and encouragement of like, there's so many more people that need this, please keep doing this. And be like, I, I get to amplify my message and be able to let more people know hence why I'm actually you know, doing this podcast, so more people can be aware of myself and my nonprofits. Thank you again for having me.

Gwyn  39:05  
Oh, I'm super glad to have you. This has been really, really great. I'm excited about the work that you're putting out into the world. I'm happy to be a tiny part of it. And um, and I I just I think it's brilliant. I think that that both the internal work that you're doing, and facilitating other people to do as well, is soooo important. And I feel like is a step that often gets overlooked. You know, people say, Oh, go to a therapist, if therapy doesn't really work for everybody. I mean, I'm a huge believer in therapy. I was in therapy for a really long time. But it isn't the end all be all and for some people it's actually damaging and they don't know that they get to fire their therapist. I like a lot of it is resonance that if you have a therapist that isn't great Then, or isn't for you, then then it's going to actually be more damaging. And there are some people that therapy just it's not helpful for them, that's not the way that they need to work on their things. And that you're providing another opportunity, I think, is really great. And the bigger program, the Enlightened Consent stuff, oh my God, why why I mean, this is something that we, that almost everybody I know, in this field talks about. Needing to shift the dominant paradigm, and that we are all working towards. But nobody has ever said, Oh, I'm going to build a foundation to do that.

Ico  40:40  
Hi

Gwyn  40:42
Thank you!

Ico  40:43  
I am

Gwyn  40:44  
Thank you. Because it's crucial, it's really, really, really important work. And, and, and we need, we need people to actually notice it, and talk about it as a as a thing, not just amongst ourselves, but like, start talking and getting it out there into the world so that maybe we can start to shift the paradigm. I mean, thank you Ico for being a part of this show. I really appreciate it. And we're down to the last question, what excites you?

Ico  41:17  
What excites me is delving into people's hearts and minds. Being able to talk with them about what they care about, and what really matters to them in their lives. I also really get excited by transformation. And that is part of the reason why I self identify as a transformational junkie, and love personal growth work, because I absolutely love the shifts that can go and happen. I'm also really excited by being able to help people get in touch with those parts of themselves that have been lost, hidden, suppressed, or denied, or in conflict with one another. And being able to have them become more whole, perfect and complete than they already are. And so that they fall even deeper in love with themselves. 

Gwyn  42:13 
That's really beautiful. So, if people want to find you to become a client, they go to where

Ico  42:20  
you go to enlightenedconsent.net and I also have a freemium on there, called the getting to know your sexual desires. You can get that right towards the the top of the page. And on that same page of enlightenedconsent.net you can also donate to the Enlightened Consent Foundation, if you want to support us that way.

Gwyn  42:45  
And then if people are sexuality professionals they go to...

Ico  42:50  
that is enlightened consent.org You can also email me at enlightenedconsent@gmail.com

Gwyn Isaacs 43:06  
This episode of what excites us is brought to you by me I'm Gwyn Isaacs, and besides being your podcast host, I'm a certified sex coach and educator and right now I have some openings for text based clients. I love coaching over email and text. It allows you to be open and vulnerable in ways that may feel too difficult in person, which lets us tackle the concerns you have at your own pace. Very few of us were taught how to have sex. Most of us are feeling our way through the dark hoping we get it right. I can help you build skills in the bedroom and navigate your intimate relationships. I have two ways you can sign up to start texting with me right away when you go to earthly desire.com/coaching you will find a weekly subscription for daily correspondence and a way to schedule a live one hour text chat. Visit earthlydesire.com to start on your path to have more pleasure today. You deserve it!

Gwyn
Thanks for listening! I hope that was as good for you as it was for me. No conversation segment this time because that was already alot. But if you have something you'd like me to address or you would like to share your story please do so at what excites us.com Be sure to subscribe if you haven't already because next time I'm talking to Linda River Valente' about eroticism and astrology, and it's really juicy. If you like what you're hearing, consider telling a friend, or rate and review the show wherever you listen. If you'd like to learn more about the show or about me, pitch an episode tell me a story or even just tell me off. You can do that at whatexcitesus.com through an anonymous recording app. While you are there, please answer the question of the week. What excites us is produced, edited and hosted by me. Gwyn Isaacs, all music is used under the Creative Commons Attribution license. This week that includes The Vendetta by Steven Kartonberg. Harmony by PolyPlus. And this is Naughty Marietta by the Victor Herbert Orchestra. Tickle dot life hosts this and many other podcasts about sex and sexuality and has a bunch of other great content. Thanks for listening. I really appreciate you!