Categories
Parenting Women

Dating and Parenting

So, you’ve decided you want to have some adult fun. Rock on! You deserve to enjoy your life. However, your darling offspring have other ideas. They might guilt you for having a life, or rebel when asked to pick up a little more responsibility around the house.
A wood drawing dummy stuck in between rocksYou are not alone in giving in to the thinking that maybe you will just have to wait until they are of legal age, or at least driving and ignoring you (mostly).

It’s an unfortunate side effect of our culture that says we can have and do anything, but our homes, jobs, and offspring have to look “perfect” or else we are bad adults. This is just not true. First of all, it’s an impossible standard. Even the models and model homes in magazines don’t look that way naturally. People get photoshopped to be thinner and more symmetrical, spaces have teams that come in prior to the photographer to ‘dress the set.’ So please try to believe that you are not less than.

Kids will complain about any changes they don’t instigate, very few want to have the boat rocked. They also don’t yet have the capacity to understand that you are an actual person. Sure they can intellectually, but emotionally, not so much. Think about when you realized that your mom or dad had their own interests and desires that didn’t involve you. I don’t think I fully got it until I made a baby myself. We certainly don’t understand the sheer amount of effort it takes to keep the little darlings alive and content until we have to go through it ourselves, even if we have many younger siblings or a thriving babysitting business.

This is the important part though… WE LEARN WHAT WE SEE MODELLED.

Let that sink in a minute. Do you want your children, especially the ones being raised female, to think their whole world revolves around taking care of others?

If you want to teach them how to have healthy boundaries, you have to have healthy boundaries, and that included with your kids.
The key here is healthy, which includes safe.

So don’t go out drinking and drive home. Don’t drop what you are doing because you got a booty call from a hottie. Do make plans.
One way to get them on board is to have a conversation about what you want and need and what they want and need. Make compromises. Set guidelines and stick to them. Treat them with respect but stick to your boundaries.

Woman nuzzling a happy child Decades from now they might have the awareness to appreciate it. But in the meantime, you will fill your own tank enough so that you won’t resent them.

Categories
Sex Coaching

Why I wanted to be a *Certified* Sex Coach

Some of my colleagues (and friends too) have suggested that spending time and money getting a certification from Sex Coach U as a sexologist and sex coach wasn’t necessary since there is no licensing board, standardized guidelines or practice methods.  However, I feel as though that is a large part of why I wanted to do the work and graduate.

Sex Coach U Certificate

There are good and bad aspects of not being bound to a state or federal licensing structure. On the positive side, I have more leeway when it comes to how I handle the business side of coaching, as well as not running into potential legal issues when I know someone outside of our professional relationship. With my certification, I became eligible to join The World Association of Sex Coaches. I like this because they have a code of ethics, and I feel it is essential to know and state that I abide by these.  However, not everyone does, which is fine, until it’s not.

Theoretically, anyone could post a page and call themselves a sex coach. I don’t think people have to or even should go through classes, or get certification, but I like knowing that the professionals I call on are trained well, so it seemed as though I should be as well! 

There are lots of programs and certifications that a sex coach could have, and most of them would have served me well. I can honestly say the reason I chose SCU was nothing more than gut feelings coupledWASC Logo with a bit of research. SCU isn’t for everyone, but for those of us who have trained there, have a wonderful sense of camaraderie, connection, and a vast network to continue to draw on as I work with clients.  New information about our bodies and sexuality is understood almost daily, and it’s important to me to keep learning and growing, which is easy to access through the twice (sometimes thrice) monthly webinar calls hosted by WASC and SCU.

If you are interested in pursuing this type of education yourself, check out SCU, and see if it is a good fit for you. If you are already a sex coach or decide on another program, please consider joining WASC, we are stronger together.

 

Categories
BDSM Book Review Kinky Women

Kinky Sex Tips for Curious Girls by Mona Darling – Book Review

I love this book!

As a sex educator who is kinky and interested in helping those who may be investigating the wild world of BDSM, one of my first thoughts was… I was going to write this book, but now I don’t have to!

Ms. Darling took this subject away from the scary, intense, black and red colored manner it is often presented to create a relaxed and comfortable read. The information is presented in manageable chunks interspersed with lots of blank lined pages for journaling. Written for those who are just beginning to consider playing with kink, the author does a fantastic job of starting with basic concepts and moving the reader all the way through trying specific activities for people interested in either topping or bottoming (or both).

coloring page and text from Mona Darling's book Kinky Sex Tips for Curious girlsThe coloring pages and other pencil activities such as word searches and crossword puzzles make it light-hearted and fun to have around. It is the type of book that I would keep on my coffee table (if I didn’t have young kids) to play with in my downtime. In fact, I would love it if there was just a coloring/activity book of the images!

I devoured this book, finishing it in two days, even finding new tidbits of fun to try myself. The only issue I have with it is the lack of page numbers, but a pack of bookmarker post-it notes could fix my concern. “Kinky Sex Tips for Curious Girls” isn’t just for girls, but for anyone who enjoys the flowery side of life. It would make a great conversation starter or pillow talk inspiration with your partner; it is also just fun to read and play with and color!

In short, I highly recommend this book!  
If you buy it through this link, I will get a tiny amount from Amazon, so you can have the pleasure of supporting two kinky sex educators! 

Categories
Sex Coaching Videos

Do you miss your Libido?

I hear this from women so often! Here are some ideas to help you reclaim your libido.

 

In Short:
All levels of Libido are healthy, natural and right!
Communicate with your partners!
What do you do when it goes away?
What exactly is libido?
Libido is made up of Mental, Emotional, and Physical arousal
Check in to see that these pieces are all good
Try letting the physical do magic for a few minutes
Libido affected by health and life
TAKE CARE OF YOU
Better yet… Be EXTRA Kind to you!

Categories
Book Review

The Little Vanilla Book: S&M Wisdom to Improve Your Daily Life – Review

Today I finished a lovely little book: The Little Vanilla Book: S&M Wisdom to Improve Your Daily Life by Lux Alani

Normally, picking up a book with ‘S&M’ and a corset on the cover seems quite racy, I assure you this one is more about the life wisdom than BDSM. Ms. Alani spent time as a professional dominatrix and draws on that experience and language to offer the reader some useful insights towards personal growth.

The author brakes down basic personal growth into bite-sized chunks. She takes weighty topics, such as confidence, authenticity, and courage and makes them accessible and easy to digest. Citing many amazing inspirational artists, she also includes a great bibliography and BDSM glossary for those who would like to know more.

Clearly aimed at women, she often reminds us that we are all Sacred Feminine Badasses! Because she uses her personal life experience, it doesn’t feel like she is telling us what “we should” be doing. Her tone is similar to your older cousin or babysitter who has done all the things! And, like many good tales, there are bonus stories along the way (even an after credits one).

Ok Goddess… Lace up, and rock it!

(If you are interested in checking out the book, I would appreciate if you clicked on the link, as I will get a teeny tiny kickback from Amazon. Thank You!) 

Categories
Videos

What I do as a Sex Coach

Most people are often intrigued when I tell them what I do, and many assume it’s a hands-on practice. While there are coaches and surrogates who do help folks in that manner, I do not.

Please, let me know what I can help you with! You can comment below with an anonymous question, which I will answer in another video, contact me or book a free consultation! Looking forward to hearing from you!

Categories
Sex Coaching

Join me on Juicebox!

Would you like to have a personal coach to help you with those intimate concerns or questions right in your back pocket?

Feel liberated in your sex life - a woman peers looks over the ocean with her hands outstretched

We can all agree that what is offered as sex ed in school is limited at best, and you might not have even had that! Did anyone in your life ever talk to you about how to create pleasure with sex, or let you know that you are entitled to it? Well, you are.

One easy way to learn is to join Juicebox, an anonymous text-based coaching app, available now on the app store. It’s free to join, and entirely reasonably priced to have full access to all the resources, including a coach who is dedicated to helping achieve unlimited bliss!

I’m thrilled to be a Sexpert on Juicebox! You can ask me all sorts of questions, and we can have great text conversations, and neither of us has to get dressed! AND if you use the code GWYN, you get 60% off your first week, and it’s guaranteed we will work together. (If you decide you’d rather work with another coach at any point, I won’t be offended, I promise. But you should still use the code to get the coupon, I mean, really, 60% off!)

Work with me on your phone
Don’t forget to use code GWYN for a 60% discount on your first weeks’ membership
Chat with me from your couch - join Juicebox
Anytime Anywhere Text-Based Sex Coaching